Jane. Proud matriarch. 

I feel incredibly lucky to play with this crazy cast of characters in a world where the ordinary reveals itself to be absurd. 

At home, we once had a sign above the front door: "As far as everyone knows we are a perfectly normal family."

What exactly is normal? A useful fiction, mostly. The sign eventually faded. Then it was removed. Gone. That is how things tend to proceed.

Life requires a good deal of pretence, a certain defiance, and the occasional excellent exit and entrance. I believe that, as time goes by, it matters more and more not to fade. 

I will keep shining. I must.

Matt.  Badly behaved.

I revel in playing a self-interested, self-adminstering lawyer—a long time friend of the family. That's not to say I will always play this character, I have a repertoire of other badly behaved, and sometimes badly dressed, characters that I like to bring to the stage. I say that as if I don't play these characters  off stage too. I cannot lie. Lawyers never lie do they?

Life is made up as we go along so I think why compromise in getting what you want? Ever. Where's the fun in that?

Kimberley. Vamp. Vixen. Vengeful.

In my first show I played Clarissa who shortly thereafter got dubbed 'Clitoris'. I was shocked. The cruelty of my fellow players was merciless. I have since sought nothing other than revenge. In the second show, I had my way with the lawyer and in our last show I called out the elephant in the room—the matriarch—and she fell with such satisfying indignity I almost felt bad. Almost.

And yet, I look forward to doing it again.

But I must wait. You must wait. Until we meet, and the wait is over. And I will do it again.

Mike. Man of substance. Wields a cane but if one is not available will wield a fire poker instead.

I am proud to play an old codger.  A character who has seen things in the trenches and has filled in a lot of paperwork at the Bureau of Administration ever since then. Someone who loves a good riddle... Not a man to be trifled with but one who likes trifle. With jelly, cream and ice-cream.

Old codgers the world over need more respect. They should take centrestage and be given more airtime. Every opinion and thought is important! Speak your mind. Do not be silenced. Do not surrender to the armchair by a sunny window.  Fight back, I say! 

Elle the Impeccable.

I smile brightest when contradicting you.
 

It has been said that I serve meals and drinks with congeniality and menace.
 

When I say, “You are very welcome,” know that you are not.

I remember everything.

Michael. Local Body Councillor. Roundabout advocate.

I am a man of civic importance. The smiling assassin of local body politics. Titan of infrastructure and by-laws.

People think local politics is dull. They think what they think. I know better. 

A dysfunctional roundabout can bring a city to crisis point.

I’m not dull.

Evie.  Hmmm. 

I'm not sure what I'm doing.

That is how I am. I am never sure if I'm coming or going. All I know is I like coming more than I like going.

I will let you know when I am sure.

Unless by then it is too late?

Darran aka Chester Chuckles. 

I am a comedian at night. I pay my dues to the gods of comedy. I am compelled.

Yet by day, I am deadly serious.

Why?

Laughter cannot be trusted.

Doubt. Uncertainty. Will the joke ever end?

Nicole. Our Little Princess. 

There is always one person who seems untouched by the chaos.

Our Little Princess lives in a world where doors open. Seats become available. Biscuits appear. None of this surprises her.

She has never knowingly done anything wrong.

Should evidence to the contrary emerge, someone has almost certainly misunderstood.

Someone, somewhere, owes her an apology.

Roger. Man of mystery.

I play an enigmatic character. I will keep you guessing. I have been everywhere but will not tell you where.

I have seen things no young lad should have seen. But I will not tell you. You can only but imagine — and be glad you have led such a sheltered life.

Life is intriguing. I am intriguing... Well, sometimes... Just a bit... In my dreams...

You will never know the truth as even I don't know it. My existential crisis is now yours too.

All cast members are players with Covert Theatre, Ponsonby, Auckland.

Special thanks to Wade Jackson, Artistic Director, for the encouragement, learning and opportunity to develop new works.

Grateful thanks also to Edith Fumarola, General Manager, for her guidance, insight and coaching as we launched this production.

Special thanks to Julian Pellizzaro for his generous contribution of directorial insights, perspective and objectivity. 

The first play Julian directed was Edward Albee’s, 'The Zoo Story'. 

He is poised to critique. 

Poised for action. And ambiguity. 

He would wear a beret. If he owned one.